Today, I found a piece of text I wrote some years ago, 5 years ago to be somewhat precise. This text confirmed my feeling of being now a totally different person than I was back then. Actually, this did not really surprise me. It rather surprises me that I kind of remembered the writing process of that piece and everything associated with it as the thoughts I had when I wrote it for instance, but I expected a totally different piece of paper emerging from the thoughts I remembered. However, this aberration probably occurred because I did not take into account the difference between my former and my current me. That is, I somehow ascribed thoughts to my former self, which are reminiscent of thoughts likely to pop up in my head now.
Besides that, I realised that I raised philosophical questions, some of which I am not asking any more. My speculation about a life after death e.g. did even incorporate religiously influenced thought material, kind of dualistic, though I always stated in the next sentence that I do not and cannot know anything about it (did I swallow too much of Socrates?) and rather not believe in it. I remember, it was the time, when I was agnostic and almost about to become atheistic. About one year later, I was sitting in a catholic religion class, next to a girl, who was going to church each week and actually believing. After she realised how disenchanted I was, she asked me, whether I really believe that the death is the end of the whole story and there is nothing after it and how I could live or even be happy with this belief. I said, I would not really care, I love my life and enjoy it as long I am alive. Actually, I do not know what I replied in detail, but I think I must have sound really indifferent. She could not understand me, I think, because for her it was very important to have a happy end. For me it was not.
I do not know whether that has changed, I still don't believe in a life after this and I am still a happy person, optimistic as I am, but I really love my life and I must admit that I try not to think about a possible end of it. Maybe that is why I am becoming hypochondric and care about health (I became a vegetarian and try not to eat too much sugar or fat). This reminds me of Ray Kurzweil, who tries to stay alive as long as possible to survive until research yields us a method to become immortal. I don't know whether I want to be immortal, I don't know whether I want so many bad people in the world to be immortal! I am currently reading 'Singularity Sky' by Charles Stross, who envisions a world in which many people are using rejuvenating cures, making it possible to be 160 years old and at the same time look as having had ones twentieth birthday some days ago. How crazy is that? In such a world, you can have more than one life, more than one family, more than one everything!
Bildungsstreik eskaliert!
Vor 5 Wochen